THE PROPER DISCIPLINE FOR CHILDREN

Question #1:
What should be my purpose in starting a good discipline program for my children?

The purpose of disciplining a child is to teach correct behavior to the child. Frequently, parents will wait to discipline until they have "had enough". What that feeling should reveal to you is "You have waited too long to discipline already !" Let that feeling be a reminder to you that you should be teaching your child right from wrong -- and insisting on right behavior -- long before things get so bad that you explode because your frustrations have gotten the best of you. In fact, the earlier the better.


Question #2
What is a good age to begin disciplining my child ?

Teaching them begins the minute that you bring them home. Even at that early age, a tug-of-war begins, where a little baby will be trying to get it's own will (feeding times, play times, etc.), in contrast to the parents schedule. By crying, and sometimes even going into a tantrum, the child is using the only method it knows to get it's own way. If it works, and the parent let the child have it's own way, the child will be certain to continue using this method for many years to come. The sooner the child understands that it must learn from the parents, and not have its way all the time, the easier the battle will be in the years ahead.


Question #3
What if I made mistakes in raising my children when they were small, but now I want to follow Biblical discipline in my home ?

It's never too late to start, but the later you initiate good discipline the more fierce resistance will be, and less likelihood there is of correcting bad behaviors that have already been strongly established. Beginning Biblical discipline when a child is already 8 or 9 years old is difficult. Starting at 12 years of age is even harder. But, if a parent wants to "give his or her best shot" at teaching the child right behavior, it is worth the frustration and difficulty. Even if not completely successful, a parent can say in later years, "I did my best. You know right from wrong. When I knew the truth, I set an example, taught you, prayed for you, and the rest is up to you now."


Question #4
Should I keep my child from the activities he likes, if he does wrong?

Generally the answer is "Yes". It is important to remember that you should always keep your child from activities which lead him to do wrong, and make him go to activities that encourage him to do right. Keep in mind that other children or teens who do not know the Lord Jesus Christ are often very bad influences. If you are trying to get your child to do what is right, it is important to encourage him into activities of the church, where they can develop friendships with Christian children, and children who atleast are under some Scriptural supervision. It is tragic to see so many parents, who know that their child loves to attend church activities which develop the right kind of morals, but as an act of (wrongful) discipline, they will stop them from coming to some church activity but will allow the child to go out with their old friends (where they have gotten the bad behavior from to begin with!) This only encourages more bad behavior, because it takes away good Bible teaching, fellowship with Christian kids, and it sub-consciously implies that somehow church activities were responsible for the bad behavior. The correct response should be to cut out activities with worldly kids, take away TV and telephone privileges, Nintendo, Walkman, etc. These are the things that can contribute to your child's misbehavior. The church will teach the child to obey his parents. Hardly any of the above items, including most of his school friends, will do that. So, why not keep the child under a good influence, and take away the bad ones ? It just makes good sense.


Question #5
How can I be on the lookout for weaknesses in my child's behavior, and maybe prevent a problem before it begins ?

The Bible tells us some amazing facts about our behavior patterns and weaknesses which modern society has only recently discovered for itself. It is wrapped up in the new discoveries about DNA. What science has most recently learned about DNA was already a major teaching about child raising in the Bible. In Exodus 20:5 and several other places in the Bible, God states that the sins of the fathers would be visited upon the children...to the third and fourth generation that follow them. Although the ancient Israelites could not comprehend why, or how this was done, we know today, that the sins of the parents, grandparents, and up to the fourth generation before will be carried as a weakness in the DNA. This does not mean that if your grandfather was a drunk that you will be. But it does state that the sin would be "visited" --that means it would "appear" as a weakness. Christians do not have to give into weakness, because we have been given God's help, in the Person of the Holy Spirit, to help us overcome. When we yield to the power of God, we can overcome anything ! (Philippians 4:13) But, parents who know that they themselves have a had weakness to tell lies, for an example, should be careful to warn their children strongly against such sin. A famous preacher came from a family of alcoholics. His own parents were so given to drink that they gave him as a young child, to his grandmother to raise. The grandmother, who was the only Christian in the family, recognized this principle, and when the child was only three years old, began to build the child's resistance toward the family sin. She would tear out the colorful pages of magazines that carried full page liquor ads, place it on the floor, and jump up and down on it, saying to the young child, "Liquor is bad! Liquor is bad !" Then, she had the child repeat her actions and words. The child--although he inherited the family weakness toward alcoholism had been strengthened against it.




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